Our Job with WAMPA (Brochure)

Our Job with WAMPA

Question: What is WAMPA?
Answer: WAMPA is one of several agencies established by poets and thoughtful people to bring about slackspace recovery by giving work to those who need it.

Q: Are there other agencies that have been set up to provide work for the unsatisfied?
A: Yes. Among these are the Flarflist Collective, UbuWeb, and the New Narrative. However, these other agencies provide opportunities only for skilled workers. WAMPA provides opportunities for both skilled and unskilled workers.

Q: What is the largest number of workers WAMPA will employ?
A: Bylaws of WAMPA cap the total employment at 35 million at this time. Currently WAMPA employs far less than this number, so plenty of opportunities are available!

Q: Do beliefs or appearance or behavior keep a wo/man from getting a job with WAMPA?
A: No.

Q: Why does WAMPA hire workers?
A: WAMPA aims to provide useful employment on useful projects for those who are not useful to society as it is constituted at this time.

Q: Is WAMPA a form of welfare or “workfare” program?
A: No. In the past, many workers have not had the opportunity to work for the money they received. Conversely, others have been required to seek out opportunities that they did not desire. WAMPA opposes these forms of demoralization and therefore has redefined work so that it can be done even by a person who is entirely motionless and without thoughts. By democratizing the concept of “work,” WAMPA redefines the concept of “worker” as anyone who fulfills a specific job description, even if that job description does not involve “work” in the conventional sense.

Q: If I am unemployed and join WAMPA, will I still be unemployed?
A: No. Once you join WAMPA, you are working. However, your payment for working may not be negotiable through those channels with which you are accustomed. Working for WAMPA may require learning about new forms of negotiation and association. Additional pamphlets are on the presses now, to further explain these important topics! Order now, as supplies are limited!

Q: What is my chance of getting a job at my regular trade?
A: It is probable that WAMPA has no jobs open for your particular trade. This is one of the toughest problems that WAMPA has had to face, because WAMPA projects do not call for many different trades. Men or women of your experience are typically over-qualified to perform the work that WAMPA asks of you. However, do not be discouraged, because one person’s “over-qualified” is another person’s “willing to learn.” At WAMPA, opportunity is about attitude.

Q: Can persons without skills work for WAMPA?
A: Yes. WAMPA considers unskilled persons ideally suited for WAMPA projects. Unfortunately, there are very few truly unskilled persons existing in modern industrial society, so WAMPA has no choice but to hire over-qualified individuals for most projects.

Q: How long will WAMPA jobs last?
A: 2 to 7 years, or 3 to 6 months. After 7 years, WAMPA will cease to exist in order to create a space in which to assess the success or failure of its efforts.

Q: Do I lose my job when the project I am working on is finished?
A: Not necessarily. It depends on the nature of the job description you have been given. The more unskilled you have become, the less specific will be the job duties assigned to you. We at WAMPA find that extremely unspecific jobs can be performed indefinitely with no loss of momentum, even once their initiating context fades. For those whose duties are more clearly determined, you should be able to be reassigned to another job. There may be a delay. It is not easy to keep millions of people working in specified and directed ways. Therefore WAMPA particularly values those who can help to keep things going by stream-lining their own job descriptions. What modern industrial work needs is a good editor, one who removes almost everything. The worker of the future will be more or less at leisure, and it is up to everyone at WAMPA to set an appropriate example, while nonetheless proving sufficiently effective to create those institutions necessary to manifest the future work environment.

Q: How can I get a raise in pay from WAMPA?
A: Much depends on local customs. Since WAMPA pays in WAMPA scrip, the value of your pay will be relative to your community’s comprehension of WAMPA. Therefore, it is essential for every WAMPA employee or affiliate to spread the word. Inform the public about WAMPA, friends, for your own sake!